A Love That Remains...

For K...

Twenty third of November
Ninteen hundred ninety-one
So many dreams ahead
So naive, in love and young

We exchanged our vows
never to be undone
We committed to each other
and two became one

Honeymoon in Steamboat Springs
A beautiful place
Skiing, snowmobiling, horseback riding
Watching your beautiful, smiling face

Enjoying time together
beginning a new life
Joined for a lifetime
as man and wife

Gradual adjustments
learning each other
So thankful we're together
Wonderful partner and mother

We have always shared
everything we have
Including pain and sorrow
tender love and laughter

Through miscarriages and loss
welcome and unwelcome changes
Yet today, closer than ever
My lover and best friend

As I said on that day
For better for worse
In sickness and in health
Til our days come to a close

Faithfully, I hold fast
Committed to you
Three cords bind us together
forever, it's true

I suffer when you suffer
and share in your pain
Your laughter, contagious
I am forever changed

You are the one
who had made my life
It's my pleasure to serve you
my best friend and wife

Seventeen years now together
and we've barely begun
It seems only yesterday
since the births of our sons

And as every year passes
even ones that are rough
I wouldn't trade what we have
Always more than enough

I look forward to days
that are brighter, and yet
The past six years
I will never forget

How our love became purer
and stronger each day
In the hardest of times
we're still able to say

I am glad to be with you
and you here with me
There's no other place
that I'd rather be

Than right here beside you
where I belong
Immersing each other
in a love pure and strong

Forged in the fires
of each challenge we've faced
Etched in our memories
that can never be erased

We now see much clearer
since the clouds rolled away
Words, insufficient,
Impossible to say

Just how deeply I love you
On this you can depend
I will remain here beside you
My very best friend

J/ (c) 2008

Breakthrough!

Slow down
and take a breath
I know it's hard
but try to rest

The gears all spinning
inside your head
Life hasn't dealt you
what you'd expect

Longing for
a simple touch
Sometimes it feels
like way too much

Responsibility owned
Feeling alone
Soul so heavy
it's too much to carry

Pushing through
the hardest part
Resist the urge
to harden your heart

It will not last forever
though it sometimes feels it could
You are not forgotten
it's all working for your good

Standing there
before a wall
And in your mind
it seems so tall

Too tall to climb
you know it's true
The only way
is to push straight through

So break on through
to the other side
You've come too far
to be denied

Push on through
that paper wall
It a facade
and no wall at all

Looks like a wall
Actually a door
And once you open it
You'll see much more

On the other side
you'll find
Freedom, love
and peace of mind

You're expected
so come on in
I'm waiting here
for you, my friend

J/ (C) 2008

Breaking Through

I wrote this song this morning, reflecting on my process... and the picture I get of it... like a baby bird developing and slowly breaking through the shell out into the world... if he does not go through this process, he will not be strong enough to survive, and will die... I am thankful for my process, because I have been made strong through it...


Breaking Through

Quietly, I hear it
A tapping in my Soul
A longing to break free
and be made whole

Slowly getting louder now
I know it won't be long
Til my spirit breaks free
and I am made strong

In my weakness Your strength is perfect
In my stumbling You are there
In my loneliness, I hear You
and I feel Your loving care

I'm breaking through
to be who You made me to be
All because of You
I'm starting to see

I can see the light
breaking through the dark
Shining deep within
Illuminating every part

Never more alone
only set apart
Given a new mind
to join my new heart

I'm breaking through
to be who You made me to be
All because of You
I'm starting to see

Help me to see
Help me to be
All that I am
All that I am to be

I'm breaking through
Breaking through to see
I'm breaking through
Breaking through to be

I'm breaking through
Breaking through to me -
the real me
The me I was always meant to be

(c) JAD, 2008

Take A Good Look....

Seems like it's really hard to get an ACCURATE view of ourselves... Some tend to see ourselves unrealistically by viewing ourselves as a great singer, dancer (ok, you don't think so? hey, have you seen the intro shows for American Idol???? So You Think You Can Dance??? Need I say more?????)...

And others see ourselves unrealistically in a negative way (no? ok, then why are plastic surgeons, diet and exercise companies, shows like "How to Look Good Naked" and so forth doing so very well???)..

Honestly, I don't think one way is better or worse than the other.... maybe both do damage - either to ourselves or to those around us by leading us to disappointment, disilluionment or destructive behavior. As painful as it may be, maybe it is important for all of us to take a step back from time to time and really attempt to view ourselves as objectively as possible.

From time to time, I ask myself questions like:

What kind of person am I?

What kind of friend am I?

Am I the kind of person I would want to be around?

Am I trustworthy and loyal?

Am I genuine and authentic? or do I role play to what is expected of me? or even put up a rejection front?

What lies might I be believing about myself? about others? about life?

Am I peaceful? deep within?

What are the things that I place the most value on?

Where do I spend/invest my time, energy & resources?

Who are my closest friends? Why are we friends?

Can I accept and love anyone, regardless of their demographics, background, lifestyle and decisions, beliefs?

Do I feel a need to compare myself to others? as better? as worse?

Do I have an accurate body image?

Do I accept myself completely - body, soul, spirit, emotions, mind?

Am I aware of those around me? of my purpose(s) in this life?

Have I been able to find my bliss?

Am I balanced? Dogmatic/legalistic? Judgemental? Harsh? Loving? Compassionate?

What are my worries? fears? and how am I responding to them?

What am I like when nobody else is around?

How do I feel when I am alone and quiet?

Just as the image of the cat above is distorted by the software that created it, often our self-images, body images and self-awareness are distorted by our programming and thinking...

affecting the energy eminating from us. I have to stop and reset from time to time - really evaluating where I am and what I am operating from - to be able to move back into seeing who I really am, as my Daddy sees me - as He made me to be....

J/

You'll always be my baby...

I don't listen to alot of country music anymore, but this song really spoke to me.... You can find a video of it at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDim9gD_pVA.

You'll Always Be My Baby
Artist: Sara Evans

Album: Real Fine Place

There I was ten years old

waiting in my room for him to come home

I just knew he'd be so mad

though I begged my mother not to, she told my dad.

There was no denying I let him down

but instead of being angry

he put his arms around me and said

In the sunlight or the rain, brightest nights or darkest days

I'll always feel the same way

whatever road you may be on

know your never too far gone
my love is there wherever you may be

just remember that you will always be my baby.

There I was twenty one

oh I was so ashamed of what I'd done

on a country roadparked one night

it started out so innocent

then crossed the line

there was no denying I let God down

but instead of being angry

He wrapped His arms around me and I heard

In the sunlight or the rain, brightest nights or darkest days

I'll always feel the same way

whatever road you may be on

know your never too far gone

my love is there wherever you may be

just remember that you will always be my baby - yeah.

There he is my little man

I'm sure he'll get in trouble every now and then

and I pray to god that when he does

I'll be just as understanding as my father was
oh the last thing that I want to do is let him down

so instead of being angry

I'm gonna throw my arms around him and I'll say

In the sunlight or the rain brightest nights or darkest days

I'll always feel the same way
whatever road you may be on

know you’re never too far gone

my love is there wherever you may be
just remember that you will always be my baby.

/Jeff

In Daddy's Arms

In Daddy's Arms

How long, Lord?

How long must this continue?

How long must I feel this way? So alone, so pressed...

How long must I endure? Such sorrow, such hopelessness...

A little longer?

But, how much longer?

Rest? How can I...

Oh, You will carry me?

Hold me in Your arms, Daddy, close to Your heart

Let my head rest on Your breast

That I may hear the beat of Your heart

And move in rhythm to Your Spirit

So safe

So secure, in Your arms

Such warmth

Such love, I am transformed!

Swing me, Daddy!

Do it again!

Whirl me around in Your arms of Love

I feel like I am flying - flying in Your Love

So far above my worries and fears

High in the air

Out of reach of all that seek to harm me

Or drag me back down

My whole heart trusts You

We are one at the heart

You have given Your heart to me

And I am Yours

Fly me again, Daddy

In Your strong, loving arms

How I need this time with You

I want to be just like You

J/ (C) 2007

Early Morning Reflections

Early Morning Reflections

3A.M.

Awake and Semi-conscious

Pondering and exploring

The depth, height, bredth of Your love for me

In the moonlight, I run to You

With open arms and heart full of love

None other can satisfy

The longing in my heart only for You

In Your eyes, pools of pure passion

Absent of all selfishness

Only true and holy desire

For me to come to You, to be with You

Each day bringing me closer

To the bridge so many have already crossed

Which will leave my body absent

And will leave me present with You

So much pain around me

Sometimes in me as well

So much suffering and loss

And yet, as long as I have You, I lack nothing

So strange to have lost so much and yet to have all I need

You tend my every need, and often my desires

You and I, forever, unchangeably one

Gratitude floods my heart and soul

In a crowd sometimes alone - Yet never truly alone

I hear Your voice, I feel Your touch

I know You are there, closer than my breath

Desiring me and loving me so much more than my mind can comprehend

I run to You, leaving it all behind

Worries, pain, trouble - now far behind

My eyes locked on You - Only You

And I behold You, as if for the first time

You welcome me with open arms and open heart

You hold me and tell me how You have missed me

And oh! Have I missed you!

You bid me come to stay with You, and I am overjoyed

Waves of joy and love wash over me

Taking away all but what You have placed in me

Healing the deep wounds

And leaving me with fullness instead

Deep within the heart of Your palm

I rest in the safety of knowing

No enemy dare follow me there in Your hand

For I am securely Yours

And now, as I close my eyes once again

Resting in the comfort of knowing

I have only touched the hem of Your presence

Yet one day, I will behold You in fullness

J/ (c) 2007