Refreshing

Weary from the long days
The difficult days
Dry in my Spirit
Soul on toward empty

Desert days
Walking sometimes aimlessly
Numb, unaware
Sometimes wanting to die

And then I see
before my eyes
A beautiful sight
just in time

An oasis in my desert
flowing with fresh water
Drenching and refreshing
deep within

Stagnant waters
now moving
Stirring and cleansing
washing away

Restarting the springs
of living waters
A wellspring of life
flowing through me

Newfound peace
Extravagant rest
Finding You
or did You find me?

Filling and fulfilling
Invigorating and thrilling
Bringing near dead
back to fully alive

Strength returning
Clarity and wisdom
Exquisite friendship
Abiding love

J/ (c) 2008

Breakthrough!

Slow down
and take a breath
I know it's hard
but try to rest

The gears all spinning
inside your head
Life hasn't dealt you
what you'd expect

Longing for
a simple touch
Sometimes it feels
like way too much

Responsibility owned
Feeling alone
Soul so heavy
it's too much to carry

Pushing through
the hardest part
Resist the urge
to harden your heart

It will not last forever
though it sometimes feels it could
You are not forgotten
it's all working for your good

Standing there
before a wall
And in your mind
it seems so tall

Too tall to climb
you know it's true
The only way
is to push straight through

So break on through
to the other side
You've come too far
to be denied

Push on through
that paper wall
It a facade
and no wall at all

Looks like a wall
Actually a door
And once you open it
You'll see much more

On the other side
you'll find
Freedom, love
and peace of mind

You're expected
so come on in
I'm waiting here
for you, my friend

J/ (C) 2008

The Transformation

Day breaks
Barely awake
Not enough sleep
Must rise and go

Busy people
Several requests
Many demands
Everyone needs something

Some are different
Coming to give
Rather than to take
Very welcome

Lightening the load
Brightening the outlook
Sharing the burden
Very welcome

Roller coaster ride
Ups go high
Lows go deep
Emotional wreck

Must get back
Peace is calling
Looking for me
Persistently

At days end
All are fed
All is done
Exhaustion realized

Lie down
Asleep instantly
Breathing deeply
Resting

Another day breaks
Challenges come
What would have overtaken
No longer overwhelming

Settled into the quiet place
No struggling
Only resting
Transformation well underway

Having tasted
Peace realized
Beyond comprehension
Nothing else will satisfy

J/ 2008 (C)

Take A Good Look....

Seems like it's really hard to get an ACCURATE view of ourselves... Some tend to see ourselves unrealistically by viewing ourselves as a great singer, dancer (ok, you don't think so? hey, have you seen the intro shows for American Idol???? So You Think You Can Dance??? Need I say more?????)...

And others see ourselves unrealistically in a negative way (no? ok, then why are plastic surgeons, diet and exercise companies, shows like "How to Look Good Naked" and so forth doing so very well???)..

Honestly, I don't think one way is better or worse than the other.... maybe both do damage - either to ourselves or to those around us by leading us to disappointment, disilluionment or destructive behavior. As painful as it may be, maybe it is important for all of us to take a step back from time to time and really attempt to view ourselves as objectively as possible.

From time to time, I ask myself questions like:

What kind of person am I?

What kind of friend am I?

Am I the kind of person I would want to be around?

Am I trustworthy and loyal?

Am I genuine and authentic? or do I role play to what is expected of me? or even put up a rejection front?

What lies might I be believing about myself? about others? about life?

Am I peaceful? deep within?

What are the things that I place the most value on?

Where do I spend/invest my time, energy & resources?

Who are my closest friends? Why are we friends?

Can I accept and love anyone, regardless of their demographics, background, lifestyle and decisions, beliefs?

Do I feel a need to compare myself to others? as better? as worse?

Do I have an accurate body image?

Do I accept myself completely - body, soul, spirit, emotions, mind?

Am I aware of those around me? of my purpose(s) in this life?

Have I been able to find my bliss?

Am I balanced? Dogmatic/legalistic? Judgemental? Harsh? Loving? Compassionate?

What are my worries? fears? and how am I responding to them?

What am I like when nobody else is around?

How do I feel when I am alone and quiet?

Just as the image of the cat above is distorted by the software that created it, often our self-images, body images and self-awareness are distorted by our programming and thinking...

affecting the energy eminating from us. I have to stop and reset from time to time - really evaluating where I am and what I am operating from - to be able to move back into seeing who I really am, as my Daddy sees me - as He made me to be....

J/

Reflections for Today

Hope, Exhaustion, Peace, Reality

Just a glimmer of hope

The slightest improvement

What we used to think was a hard day

We now know to be a good day

So much we did not know

So much we still do not

Sometimes so difficult to understand

Five years now

So much time and effort

So much money spent

Sometimes seeming that the treatment

Is worse than the disease

How much can one withstand?

How long can this go on?

Longer than you would think

Longer than you would believe

When the days grow long (but never long enough)

And the bones are sore

From being awake so long

Not enough time for sleep

Well beyond the end of myself

So beyond what I thought could be

Feeling so alone and yet

Knowing I never am, nor can I be

Adversity seems to bring out

The very best and very worst

The rawest, truest self within

Testing hope and faith and trust

Nights are often hardest

Most exhausted, most empty

Finally finished for the day at 2am

Collapsing into my pillow

6am comes too early (has it only been a few minutes?)

Alarm screaming and demanding

Waking dead, and yet alive

New hope in the midst of challenge

Stumbling in the dark

Cold water in my face, dark circles under my eyes

Slowly coming into consciousness

So much to do, so few hours today

Wake the boys - Don't go back to sleep

Keep them moving

Breakfast, brush hair and teeth

Pack lunch and out the door

Another successful launch

Time to crash, close my eyes

For just a few precious moments of sleep

So elusive, but must catch them when I can

The demands of the day will soon be upon me again

Everyone needing, wanting

Right now! Urgent! Must be done!

So many so unaware...

In the midst of all the busy-ness

Finding the quiet place

Of unsurpassed peace

Where You are...

Suddenly easy

Efforless

Resting

Perfect

(C) 2008, Goteeman