Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Reflections for Today

Hope, Exhaustion, Peace, Reality

Just a glimmer of hope
The slightest improvement
What we used to think was a hard day
We now know to be a good day

So much we did not know
So much we still do not
Sometimes so difficult to understand
Five years now

So much time and effort
So much money spent
Sometimes seeming that the treatment
Is worse than the disease

How much can one withstand?
How long can this go on?
Longer than you would think
Longer than you would believe

When the days grow long (but never long enough)
And the bones are sore
From being awake so long
Not enough time for sleep

Well beyond the end of myself
So beyond what I thought could be
Feeling so alone and yet
Knowing I never am, nor can I be

Adversity seems to bring out
The very best and very worst
The rawest, truest self within
Testing hope and faith and trust

Nights are often hardest
Most exhausted, most empty
Finally finished for the day at 2am
Collapsing into my pillow

6am comes too early (has it only been a few minutes?)
Alarm screaming and demanding
Waking dead, and yet alive
New hope in the midst of challenge

Stumbling in the dark
Cold water in my face, dark circles under my eyes
Slowly coming into consciousness
So much to do, so few hours today

Wake the boys - Don't go back to sleep
Keep them moving
Breakfast, brush hair and teeth
Pack lunch and out the door

Another successful launch
Time to crash, close my eyes
For just a few precious moments of sleep
So elusive, but must catch them when I can

The demands of the day will soon be upon me again
Everyone needing, wanting
Right now! Urgent! Must be done!
So many so unaware...

In the midst of all the busy-ness
Finding the quiet place
Of unsurpassed peace
Where You are...

Suddenly easy

(C) 2008, Goteeman