Wednesday, December 15, 2010

First & Last



Hehe.... I just realized today that my last blogging entry was January 10, 2010... nearly a year ago... funny how the time flies. I guess I am overdue for a reflection.

This year has been one of mixed blessings - watching my boys grow stronger and grow up... now 11 and 14, soon to be 12 and 15. Just a few years ago, I held them in my arms, swaddling them up in little blankets to come home and begin our lives together... and now they are QUITE independent and wonderful. I couldn't be more proud of them. They are absolutely awesome young men. They never cease to amaze me with their wisdom, boldness and faithfulness. They have become so responsible.

We added a new family member this year... a cairn terrier pup, Ziva... she has been a true blessing and a wonderful addition... She keeps me company on what would be some very lonely evenings, and is always a spirit-lifter...

The harder part of this year has been the continuation of my wife's illness. I've seen her in so much pain and suffering - it's truly heartbreaking to see someone who used to be so active and smile to much to now struggle so much. Disability, neurological and neuro-motor illnesses take a huge toll on a person, and on a family. I'm thankful for the changes in me for the better - chipping away at stubbornness, impatience and unloveliness, leaving me a better man for it...
but it's been difficult. With each year, I find myself more peaceful, yet more heartsick. Hope deferred has done this to me. Still awaiting the "promise fulfilled" part of this deal.

So as we embark on 2011, a new year... once again, I renew my hope. Hope for a new finding, solution or cure. Hope for relief for my wife. Hope for finding new depths of peacefulness and love and loving kindness.

And so, I wish each of you a wonderful holiday and a blessed new beginning in the new year.
~J

Saturday, January 09, 2010

Snow!


Well, it's like this... 2 inches of snow in Tennessee + a little warmer + a lot colder = a recipe for disaster... that was the ticket on Thursday afternoon here... Nice and cold! 15-30 degrees this week, and roads have been fun...
so, being the funloving guy I am, I dragged out the bigger go-cart and hit the street, having more fun than a tornado in a Tennessee trailer park...
the growling rumble of the engine... the fog of exhaust in the air... and I was off and running...
this thing'll do about 35-40, and has seat belts and a roll cage...
Took it down the street and spun out in the cul-de-sac, did some donuts and back up the street... knobbies grabbing ice, snow and whatever else they could find...
and I'm suddenly 15 again, flying like my hair is on fire, until I realize how freaking cold my nose and face are getting (my chin and lip are, of course, warm... because I am still the Gotee-man!)...
so I lasted all of about 45 minutes before I headed back for warmer regions (namely, my domicile)... and I realize once again that I am actually not 15, but rather 41... and still lovin' it!

Doesn't take much to bring out the boy in this man...
and I never want to lose that!