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This year has been one of mixed blessings - watching my boys grow stronger and grow up... now 11 and 14, soon to be 12 and 15. Just a few years ago, I held them in my arms, swaddling them up in little blankets to come home and begin our lives together... and now they are QUITE independent and wonderful. I couldn't be more proud of them. They are absolutely awesome young men. They never cease to amaze me with their wisdom, boldness and faithfulness. They have become so responsible.
We added a new family member this year... a cairn terrier pup, Ziva... she has been a true blessing and a wonderful addition... She keeps me company on what would be some very lonely evenings, and is always a spirit-lifter...
The harder part of this year has been the continuation of my wife's illness. I've seen her in so much pain and suffering - it's truly heartbreaking to see someone who used to be so active and smile to much to now struggle so much. Disability, neurological and neuro-motor illnesses take a huge toll on a person, and on a family. I'm thankful for the changes in me for the better - chipping away at stubbornness, impatience and unloveliness, leaving me a better man for it...
but it's been difficult. With each year, I find myself more peaceful, yet more heartsick. Hope deferred has done this to me. Still awaiting the "promise fulfilled" part of this deal.
So as we embark on 2011, a new year... once again, I renew my hope. Hope for a new finding, solution or cure. Hope for relief for my wife. Hope for finding new depths of peacefulness and love and loving kindness.
And so, I wish each of you a wonderful holiday and a blessed new beginning in the new year.
~J
