Thursday, February 09, 2006

There Must Be More....

I thought of this as I was reading Kingsjoy's (David's) latest blog...
There is a song that has been a cry of my heart for much of my life...

"There Must Be More" by David Ruis
Lord I groan, Lord I kneel
I'm crying out for something real
For I know, deep in my soul,
There must be more

Lord, I'm tired

Yes, I'm weak
I need Your Power to work in me
'Cause I can't let go - I keep holding on
There must be more
There must be more

River flow
Fire Burn
Holy Spirit breathe on me

There is such a renewed hunger in me to know God so much deeper. I realize that this is an unexhaustable pursuit - I mean that He is unexhaustable, and though I know Him deeper and deeper, His depth is infinite. He is completely amazing and wonderful - the kindest person I have ever known. He is my friend, my God, the Lover of my soul, the Lifter of my head, my salvation, my restorer, my sin-bearer, my burden-bearer, my ISHI (husband), my comforter... and so much more.

Yesterday was one of those "Verse 2" days, from the song above. I was so tired, and so weak. Our circumstances sometimes feel so completely overwhelming to me. On those days, I really need His Power to work in me, to do what needs to be done, to love those around me through me, to keep me consistently kind and gentle toward those I love, and to express transparently my love for Kim, and really appreciate her fully, in a way that she can understand and enjoy.

Hosea 6 -

"Come, and let us return to Yahweh; for he has torn us to pieces, and he will heal us; he has injured us, and he will bind up our wounds.

6:2 After two days he will revive us. On the third day he will raise us up, and we will live before him.

6:3 Let us acknowledge Yahweh. Let us press on to know Yahweh. As surely as the sun rises, Yahweh will appear. He will come to us like the rain, like the spring rain that waters the earth."

It is amazing how God has used our relationship to break our hearts, bind up the brokenness, lift us up and heal us. It is so humbling to be totally transparent - for nothing to be hidden from someone you love so much. For that person to see your flaws and still love and like you. Oh, how my heart has been ravaged. I am broken, the wound is bound up, and I know the lifting and healing is coming, but oh, how I long for it. How hard it is to wait. So hard to want so badly to be healed and restored, but to have to wait for it. It would seem cruel if it were not for the knowing that all things are working together for our good. Somehow, this is little comfort while walking through this time, and yet I hold on... longing for the day. I am in such need of "watering"...



mdwinn said...

"I am broken, the wound is bound up, and I know the lifting and healing is coming, but oh, how I long for it. How hard it is to wait. So hard to want so badly to be healed and restored, but to have to wait for it."

Dude your are so spot on! I can feel exactly what you are talking crazy is this conversation stretching across the globe! Surely the LORD is in this place.

GoteeMan said...

Yes, He is. And yet, this is so very painful and so very difficult.

More when I can...


Darla said...

i have never read this verse in hosea. such power in that. i'm glad that you found strength in his word. know that we are praying for you and kim both.... i pray that you will be revived and that you will be able to live before him, truly live.... i know that's what michael and i are working towards... really living. not this "just getting by" kind of life... but that abundant life that Jesus talks about. you are in our thoughts.

GoteeMan said...

Well, what I didn't know was that the 3 days were LITERALLY 3 days! Wow! Most painful thing we've ever experienced... and that's saying something!

Anyway, wow, the difference!!! When God does it like this, it's amazing!!!

We are now living completely transparently together, and are bonded more deeply than ever before. The price felt heavy during the 3 days, but OH WOW! WELL WORTH IT!

Thanks for your prayers and friendship.